Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Hey Old Friends - READ THIS !

Somehow you found your way here. Who is this CiCi Eberle? Yea, I used to know someone with that last name, but he was, well, a he...he was an asshole/saint/regular guy (choose one). Anyway, to provide some background on my changes, here is a copy of a pseudo form letter that I tailored and sent to many people I know around town:

I wanted to let you know about big changes in my life and its impacts on L and the kids. I am a male to female transsexual and have recently transitioned to a full time presentation of my true, female identity. My name is now Celia Camille Eberle, though I go by "CiCi" day-in and day-out.

Let me apologize advance for how impersonal it is to send you this information by eMail, but since my year of work in Vancouver, WA it has been very difficult to stay in touch. Also, I hope this news precedes anything you may have heard as neighborhood scuttlebutt, but that is hard to predict. Though I'm out at work and to many immediate neighbors and friends, I am just starting notifying old work colleagues, neighbors and other Fort Collins friends. I certainly wanted to let you know before I re-introduced myself via a chance encounter.

Let me try and answer a few obvious questions, but so much has happened over the last four years that to really do the story justice requires several bottles of wine and a few margs to boot!

Question 1: What about L and the kids ?!?
L and I are still a couple. We are exploring where things go from here in an open, honest and loving way. I am living at a separate residence in Loveland, but we still spend most weekends together up in Fort Collins.
The kids are doing great. They have been in-the-know for a couple of years now. Kate is starting her Junior year of college in Tacoma, WA. Rick just started at the local university. It took a while for Rick to get comfortable, but finally I am out to his girlfriend and her parents, his long-time buddies and his new college dorm-mate.
Question 2: Is this a recent discovery?
This is a better question for margs, but, no, I have lived with this since I was a tot in elementary school. Why now?... if not now...when? My dual identity was not serving we well or those I love. My lifetime journey of self-actualization was hopelessly blocked. The decision to transition was a long and painful one, involving several counselors, support groups, etc. I have not done this lightly.

In other, less dramatic news, I am playing in a band! Starting last January, I have been playing with CYNOVA ( We gigged at Montana Pride in Kalispell and at a local fundraising event in Boulder. The other women in the band live in Lafayette and Louisville. We will be playing the Boulder Pride event, September 12 on the Pearl Street Mall. It should be a gas. Though primarily a folk rock group, they let me turn-it-up once in a while :)

Getting Out There

The world of social networking has made coming out quite a broad and interesting process. Between MySpace, FaceBook and LinkedIn, I have contact with cohorts from elementary school, high school, college(s), old workplaces(2), current workplace, current groups(CYNOVA, PFLAG, Lambda Center) and more.

I model coming out in terms of concentric rings. This process really started over 4 years ago. Here is a rough order of the circles from center to the outer rings:
1) Self, Partner, Kids, Parents, In-Laws, oldest/bestest friends
2) Workplace, organizations, in-town, local, old work colleagues, old neighbors, current neighbors
3) Geographically distant contacts: Classmates (K-12-Colleges), remote old work colleagues

I am finally updating all of my social networking sites and need a way share a communication with those people that I can't contact personally...Hence, I think I'll be posting a Hey, Old Friends blog here and directing them to it.